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[Chapter Twenty Two]
It had already been four days since that incident at Brian's house and three days since the one with Mandy. Yet, those heartless words were still ringing in Kevin's ears and hanging on Nick's mind as it continued its mission of trying to destroy them. It was an entirely awful feeling that those words, which Nick had said to Kevin in the studio, were losing their effect. He knew Nick was putting on a strong front for the both of them. He also knew Nick was losing faith in their relationship. He knew Nick was fighting off the feeling of wanting to give up. He knew that Nick had doubts over everything.
Kevin felt it. He felt it when Nick called him up yesterday and told him that he needed to escape from reality for a while. And here they are, at Nick's house by the sea, along with Ilyssa and Scott. Feeling frustrated, Kevin ran a hand through his hair and leaned against the window as he looked out at the sandy beach. He noticed that Nick and his kids were back from snorkeling. Kevin's eyes were fixed on Nick the entire time as he wadded away from the sea and helped the kids get their snorkeling gear off. He let his gaze wander around Nick's body and sub-consciously licked his lips. 'It's just words, Boo.' He recalled what Nick had said to him the other day. 'Damn right that it's just words.' he thought. 'Words will never mean more than action...' Kevin went into a deep thought as he watched the pale sunlight wash over Nick's glistening body. Those who had commented about Nick being overweight would have to take back their words if they ever saw this beautiful male specimen standing there, topless. 'Man, the things I would do to that boy...' He smirked at the naughty thought, which crept into his mind as his eyes savored the sight and outlined the curves of his body. Of course, minutes later, he smacked himself for delving any further into that thought, which could only be the fantasy of his life. He straightened out his thoughts that Nick was still young and, most likely, confused. He was still free to choose who he wanted to be with and he had all the time in the world to regret this whole relationship. However, when it all came down to it, Kevin wished that it would still be Nick whom he could woke up to every morning for the rest of his life. "Pirate Kev! Come on down!" Kevin heard Nick yell for him and rolled his eyes dramatically. He had new nicknames practically every damn second whenever his lover was in a great mood. Nick. Great mood? He wasn't interested in pondering over that now. Since Nick was in a great mood, he couldn't be happier, despite the fact that he had to live through his nicknames frequency. He can imagine and live his life with nicknames popping up for him every second. And he can imagine his life without Nick: it would be far worse than having millions of nicknames. Obviously. Before heading his way out of the house, he took off his clothes and left on swimming trunks to cover his sexy ass. Heck, he would just go out of the house in his full sexiness and skinny-dip. However, the kids were there and it would be pure torture to be prancing around Nick in that manner. He grabbed a towel, swiftly hung it around his neck and whistled his way out of the door. "Took you long enough, Pirate." Nick grinned as his eyes strayed up and down the length of Kevin's body. "Now, where did that come from?" Nick smiled and went up to Kevin, pulling his towel away from his neck and throwing it onto the beach chair. "We saw a pirate fish down there and it kinda looked like you when you're all serious." he laughed. "Well," Kevin smirked. "You'd better start running, 'cause it just so happens that I'm not very fond of that new nickname." "ACK!" Nick made a loud noise and started to run for his dear life. Kevin ran after him and picked up the pace when he was about to catch hold of Nick. However, Nick gave him the slip and was able to create a distance between them again in a matter of seconds. Kevin was surprised at how fast Nick could run and deduced that it must be old age catching up on him. During random moments, Nick kept looking back at his chaser and giggled like a little child. Finally, the little chase ended with Nick tripping over and falling flat on his face. As Kevin ran toward Nick, the younger man sat on his ass and was busy spitting out the sand, which had gone into his mouth. "Nicky! Are you alright? Man, I shouldn't have chase you... I'm sorry..." Kevin apologized as he scanned Nick's limbs for any signs of bruises or scratches. When he looked at his lover's face for the second time, he burst out laughing at the sand-dusted look on him. "You think it's funny, Furry?" Nick pouted and pretended to look sad. "Well, yes I do, Puppy." Kevin teased. "Puppy? You're getting me new nicknames too." Nick looked at Kevin wide-eyed. Kevin laughed and ruffled Nick's hair. "You give me Furry and that puppy look of yours earned that new nickname for you. Now, can you tell me how I got this latest nickname of mine?" he asked, sitting down on the sand beside Nick. "Wiggle your eye brows." Nick instructed. Without thinking, Kevin did as he was told and Nick chuckled. "There you go! That's what inspired Furry!" "Uh huh... Off track again, aren't we?" Kevin reminded and Nick chuckled, leaning his head on Kevin's bare shoulder. "I prefer Pirate over Furry if you wanted to know. Well, we can't have a pirate and a puppy. That sounds weird. Let's get you another nickname..." Kevin thought long and hard while Nick traced his finger in circles on Kevin's thigh. Several thoughts circling around the Pirate subject drifted in and out his mind. Until a familiar Disney character captured his attention. "Peter Pan..." Nick mindlessly thought aloud. "That's it!" Kevin exclaimed. "You shall be Peter Pan! And you're never getting away from this Pirate." Nick laughed and slapped Kevin's thigh lightly before getting up on his feet. "So, those will be our secret nicknames from now on!" he said, taking a few steps away from Kevin. "And no, I can get away from you anytime, Pirate! Now, come catch me if you can!" Nick yelled and took off once again into the opposite direction where Kevin had chased Nick earlier. Kevin groaned but chased after Nick anyway. This time, Nick's luck ran out and Kevin caught Nick around his waist before throwing the both of them onto the sand. "You know, it takes all my energy to be with you, Nick." Kevin said. "But you're the source of my energy and it won't ever run out." "That's kinda cheesy... But I love it." Nick grinned and without warning, Kevin launched into a new tickle war. "Oh, you're so not getting away with that." Kevin laughed as he tickled the daylights out of Nick. "Pay the price, Peter Pan!" In a distance, Ilyssa and Scott were laughing at the hilarious sight of their father and Nick. Without much hesitation, Scott took Ilyssa's hand and ran to them, wanting to join in the fun. Before bedtime, they spent the hours playing Nintendo, where Nick lost to Scott once, had a pizza fest, and went out the beach to count the shimmering stars on the black blanket covering the entire sky. When bedtime arrived, Scott became the duplicate version of Nick when Nick was his age. Scott whined all the way to bed and refused to sleep. Not until Nick promised chocolate as breakfast for him the next day. "You gotta stop spoiling him, Nick. He'll get used to it and become the next you." Kevin complained. Nick rolled his eyes and switched off the lights as they went out of the room. "Ya know, I promised myself this: the day that I found the girl of my dreams, I'll spoil her rotten..." Nick said as they walked down the stairs. Kevin stopped in his tracks. 'Girl...?' he thought. "But in this case, MAN of my dreams..." Nick turned back to face Kevin. "I haven't forgetten your gender, Pirate." he chuckled. "I'll spoil you rotten and that includes anyone who is so dear to my bitch." Kevin raised his eyebrows. "Bitch? Ah, no, no. I'm not your bitch." "Aww, come on. Don't be a spoilsport! Don't you think it sounded sexy?" Nick batted his eyelashes playfully and reached forward to hold Kevin's hand as they strolled out into the star filled night. "Alright, it sounded sexy, yes..." Kevin admitted. "Just don't ever call me that in front of any human being..." "Can't make that a promise. But I'll try." Nick grinned. "Hey, stay here for a bit while I go back in to get something." He gave a wink and disappeared back into the house. Minutes later, he came out of the house with a picnic mat. They spread the picnic mat on the sand, sat down and started a conversation as they looked out at the sea. "I have been wanting to ask you something for a while... Promise you won't get angry or anything." Nick requested. Kevin arched an eyebrow and looked at Nick thoughtfully. "You've never asked whether you could ask a question or not. That's not quite your usual style," he laughed at Nick's slight pout of his mouth. "I promise. So, what is it you wanna ask?" Nick was silent for a while, searching for a way to make his question sound right. "Erm, do you, ya know... Will you or have you ever had a guy thing?" "Hmm, I don't get you." "Oh man..." Nick groaned inwardly. "Okay, I guess I'll just be blunt with this. Do you like guys? I mean like, LIKE them. 'Cause ya know, you like me, I'm a guy, and I just wondered..." "Only you, Nick." Kevin replied without hesitation. "You and only you. When I was in high school, I did have crushes, but that's the end of the story. It's a period which almost everyone has to go through. I just find them cute and that's it. I've always been straight... But, you. You're the exception. The day I realized what I felt towards you was love, that's the day I knew you were who I was looking for in this life. Doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy. Because you are you... Love knows no gender. Am I getting off topic here?" "N-no..." Nick stuttered, apparently lost in Kevin's words. "How about you?" Nick looked down at his feet, lightly playing in the sand with them. "Me? I have absolutely no interest in guys. But what you've just said hit a certain part of me. The crush thing but still, I have no interest in guys..." Nick continued to dig the sand with his feet while Kevin had a worried look on his face. "Everything I wanted to say, you've helped me say it. It's not like a guy or girl thing, but the soul. I don't want to sound profound here, but hey, you don't have to worry. I'm still like the ignorant Nick-" Kevin chuckled at that, making Nick stop briefly to do the same. "Like I've said, it's the soul. And love. I acknowledged the fact that love has no age and I think I can add yours in too. Love has no age and knows no gender." "Now you're making me worried." Kevin laughed at the depth in the topic that Nick had just shared. "Uh huh." Nick rolled his eyes. "This is good," he said, rubbing his hands up and down slowly on his legs to achieve some warmth. "What's good?" "Talking." Nick replied and straightened his back as he inhaled the ocean scent. "I love talking to you. I always learn something new whenever I talk to you. All we've had in the past were mostly stupid arguments and we never really sat down to talk. Okay, we did talk but not like now. Maybe because you're revealing a different side of you to me, and not the usual 'Nick-this-is-the-advice-or-let-me-correct-you-or-blah-blah-blah'... It's all about talking now and not just consisting of advice, correction of my mistakes, or telling me to grow up... It feels good." "Nick, you're almost 20," Kevin said matter-of-factly. "You should know what's right or wrong and I have to let you grow. The advice and everything will sort of run out in a way. You just have to go through some crap and solve it yourself; perhaps using the old advice we gave you. And my dear Nicky boy, it's not because I've revealed a different side to you. This side of me shouldn't be new to you. I've been talking to you and treating you like an adult. It's just that you never realized it." "Oh." Nick breathed and felt a little ashamed. Kevin wrapped his arm around Nick and gave him a grin. After an hour of conversation with the usual teasing, Kevin felt a little tired and decided to lie down on Nick's lap. Looking toward the night sky, he was hypnotized by the ghostly silence around them, the salty sea breeze that blew across the atmosphere, and the beautiful face of Nick. "You look so beautiful against the night sky... with the stars." Kevin praised with a faint hint of sleepiness taking over. Nick made a mock frown. "I ONLY look beautiful against the night sky with the stars to you when you're almost half asleep." "No." Kevin argued. "Even when I'm not half asleep." "I'll make myself believe that." Nick laughed. He blew lightly on Kevin's hair and traced his jaw line with his finger. Nick was totally enchanted by the way how Kevin's eyes sparkled like carnival lights all the time. "You'll always be the most beautiful one," he whispered. "You're too enchanting... You have surpassed everything in my world, Kev. There is nothing in this universe that could replace you. And sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve you at all." "Shh... Don't you ever say that again." Kevin looked deeply into his lover's eyes. "You understand that you owe me a lifetime, don't you?" "I do?" "Yes. A lifetime and that means you'll have to stay by my side eternally." Kevin said, reaching up to touch Nick's cheek. "Please don't change your heart." Nick cocked his eyebrow. "What makes you say that?" "I feel you, Nicky. You have doubts-" "No-" "Shh... Just listen to me first, alright?" Kevin requested, sitting himself up. He reached for Nick's hand and clasped it gently. "I'm really scared of losing you... You mean more than anything to me. Really. I never felt like a complete person until you loved me. The moments when we were kissing or just holding each other... Those are extremely precious to me because I'll never know if you'll decide to leave me each time I wake up." Upon hearing the heartfelt confession, Nick's vision started to blur as his tears began to well up in his eyes. "You and I have made promises, vows and assurances that this is what we want. But you reminded me, Nick, that those are words. Actions always speak louder than words. I wish I could show you my love..." Nick swallowed hard. "Make me yours then." Kevin froze at Nick's words. "Make me yours completely and put all those doubts to rest." "Wha- Nick? What do you me-" "You know what I'm talking about." Nick interrupted. Slowly, he brought Kevin's hand to cup his face into it and looked into Kevin's deepest soul. "I know you want me. It's just that you think I'll mind or something. But, no, I don't. Because I'm ready now and... I'm no longer the little annoying kid, Kev. I'm going on 20 soon. I've grown up and I want to belong to you. I want it. I wish to." Kevin was at a loss of words. He never expected Nick to say what he had just heard but the first reaction he gave was shaking his head. "No." he finally blurted out. "Nick, no. I want it too but... not now." A stream of tears from Nick's eyes fell and he gently wiped them away. "Because you're so special to me and I wanted our first time to be special too," he continued, a twinkle sparkling in the younger man's eyes. "And I hope that it will happen on our wedding night." "Wedding?" Nick responded with a slightly shocked expression. "You're kidding. Our wedding...?" Kevin gave him a lop-sided grin. "Do you like men with a bald head and a potbelly?" he suddenly asked and Nick looked confused. "If you do, well, I hope that you'll be able to watch me turn into a bald man with a potbelly." The two of them looked at each other for a couple of seconds and finally broke into a little laugh. "So, erm," Nick started with a stupid grin, breaking off the laughing moment. "Do I take that as a proposal?" Kevin gave a gentle smile and looked deep into Nick's eyes. 'This is what you have been waiting for, Richardson.' Kevin thought. "Yes." he whispered, pulling Nick up on his feet and going down on one knee himself. "Can I keep you?" he asked, his voice sounding like a little boy's. "Wow. This is amazing." Nick whispered, his emotions building up once again. Tears welled up and blurred his vision as he looked down at the person who was going to spend the rest of his life with him. Nick didn't dare think of a marriage with Kevin, as he thought that the marriage of two guys was a 'mission impossible'. Yet, here they were. Kevin attempting to cross the boundaries to bind their life together. 'Simply amazing.' he told himself. As he continued his silence and looked emotionally at Kevin, something flashed in his mind. Their future. He was surprised that he could see a future for them and never knew that they would ever come this far. It wasn't bleak and unstable. It was full of love and anticipation of sharing a life together. Their love and determination had quietly built a strong force surrounding and backing them. Nick didn't realize the full impact of it. Not until now. He tilted his head to the side a little, thinking: what if he had decided to live on the fact that he knew Kevin loved him and not do anything about it? Probably would have missed out on a lot, he suggested to himself. He sighed, glad that he didn't make a decision based on the so-called religion taboo. "Kev, in my deepest soul, you've planted something there and I trust it. That's really important to me 'cause being in this business for so long, I've already felt like a zombie. I have no clue how to feel anymore and trust was a heavy issue for me. That's why no matter how sad or depressed I am, I'll never cry. But in your presence, I can cry. I can release my emotion without feeling ashamed or having to worry about anything. Because in front of you, I'm naked. You can see and feel me the way I want people to. No judging, no crap, no deciet... Just the kind of love I've searched for. I want you to know that... you're the rest of my life and I shall be yours till the end of time. And yes, you can keep me." Slowly, Kevin broke into a wide smile. He took a moment to digest the most beautiful answer he had ever heard, then jumped to his feet to embrace and sweep his love off the ground. After the joyful moment, they shared a kiss, which made Kevin cry. The kiss was erotic, but in such an innocent way. Even when their tongues were not touching, the feeling of having their lips being pressed together was exquisite. Not to mention the kiss with the tongue. It was light, gentle, and yet almost as fickle as playful musical notes in a piece of classical music. Ever since they started kissing, Kevin wondered about the way Nick kissed. Kissing Nick was like kissing someone or something so pure. It always made him feel that he was kissing someone who was kissing for the first time, exploring slowly and curiously, no matter how many times they did that. And of course, Kevin had never stumbled upon someone like that. Except Nick. That's why he loved to kiss him. He would gladly take an entire day just to tease Nick's red cupid-bow lips, massaging his sweet tongue with his own, and to moan against his mouth as they went searching for the pleasure in each other's mouths. When they finally tore their lips away from each other, they both quivered at the sensations that went through their bodies, like electric currents. They continued to hug each other for a few minutes, enjoying the moment of being able to feel each other in a lover's way. But seconds later, Nick furrowed his eyebrows. "But-" "I know." "What do you know?" "The wedding itself. It probably won't take place until every piece of this drama has blown over." Kevin said and pulled away. "But you're my fiancé now. That makes you my half-husband." Nick chuckled. "I don't know why, but I felt a tingly feeling run through my body when you said that." "Say what?" "That I'm your husband." "I get that too." Kevin smiled. "We'll have to get ourselves wedding bands. I felt so unromantic right now. How could I just propose to you without a wedding band?" "Never mind that. You can propose to me again. I liked it when you went down on one knee, when you proposed to me." "Yeah, I'll do just that. But don't make me go down on one knee every other day. Proposing to someone is supposed to be a special moment," he laughed. "I'm thinking of getting a silver band with our names carved on it. What do you think?" Nick pouted a little. "I like gold." he said. "Maybe we can get them to mix the gold and silver together. How's that? Oh, wait! And our name! We'll have it spelled as K-e-v-i-n-i-c-k." Nick spelled it out excitedly. "I remembered that I used to doodle our name together like that. It's amazing how our name fitted. Even when you spelled it starting with your name." "Sounds pretty to me." Kevin arched his eyebrow and spoke in an unnoticeablly surprised tone. He didn't expect Nick to have the same idea of what he wanted the ring to be like. "Perhaps we are what people call a match made in heaven." "How true." Nick agreed and planted a kiss on Kevin's lips. "Even our lips fitted together so perfectly." he said in-between kisses. Kevin gently pulled away and grinned. "Now, who's being the cheesy one?" "PIRATE!" Nick yelled at the top of his voice, only to cover his mouth immediately after he realized that it was the wee hours. "Sorry, didn't mean for that to come out so loud." Kevin laughed and shook his head. "My typical Nicky boy." he said and let out a small yawn. "Come on now, let's get to bed. You look like you're going to fall asleep any moment now." Nick suggested, linking his arm with Kevin's and journeying back into the sweet little house by the sea. ... As Kevin spooned up behind Nick on the bed, he kissed Nick's right ear and nibbled on the ear lobe gently. Nick smiled and was tempted to bring his hand up to his ear and scratch it. "It's ticklish," he said. "You're making me horny." "You're so straight-forward about that." Kevin chuckled. "Well, I like you to know how you make me feel whenever you do something to me." Nick whispered, letting out a little moan. He loved the vibration of Kevin's chest against his back as Kevin chuckled. "Sing my bedtime song before we meet in dreamland, please?" "My pleasure." Kevin replied. "What should I sing on a special night like this?" "Perhaps, our song?" "Our song?" "Yeah. That song we've wrote together. By My Side." "But that song is suppose to be a sad song. You're not gone. You're here." Nick rolled his eyes. "Sing any of your solo and I'll just make do with that..." "Aww, my boy is not happy." Kevin teased and cleared his throat for the song. "Tonight I saw an eclipse of your smile within my own reflection... On your look, so beautiful then... A tear ran down my face, all my memories erase... Oh, why'd you have to leave my side." Nick smiled when Kevin had obliged to his request to sing the song. "You know, I'm gonna be so used to your bedtime song that I won't be able to sleep without it." Nick said. "Then I'll just have to sing it to you every night." he whispered hoarsely into Nick's ears and continued the song. Nick smiled, snuggling himself closely to Kevin and closing his eyes, singing a little along with Kevin, letting the alluring, deep voice of Kevin take him away to dreamland. "Maybe something made me look at you... Maybe something made me do what I have to do, boy... Maybe something made me talk to you... Maybe something made me do what I should do..." Before Kevin could complete the song, Nick had already dozed off comfortably by his side. Carefully, he got off the bed and walked quietly to the living room. Picking up the phone, he sat down on the couch and dialed AJ's home number. After a while, a sleepy and grouchy voice came up. "Alright..." AJ yawned loudly. "It's officially after midnight now and I'm in the middle of my dream, and it's my birthday. This better be good or-" "Bone, it's Kevin." Kevin said, cutting off AJ's rambling. "Kev? Yo, I didn't piss you off or anything, right? Do you need to call me at this hour?" AJ complained. Kevin sighed and leaned back against the chair. "Sometimes you're more paranoid than I am." "Yeah, well, whatever... What's up, Kev? Nick and the kids bug the crap out of you?" "That's nothing new." Kevin muttered. "I needed to talk to someone and you came to my mind. Alex, I just did something and I need to know if it was right or wrong for me to do." AJ bit his lip and sat up on his bed slowly. "Okay... I'm here, Kev." he said, his voice changed for a more serious tone. He thought that something serious might have happened again. "So, what happened?" "I, erm, well, I just proposed to Nick-" "Holy shit..." was the first response coming from AJ before Kevin could finish his sentence. Kevin had to chuckle at that response. He remembered clearly that AJ had been repeating those words for the rest of the day after he had heard Brian's voice for the first time at the audition. AJ could get excited at anything. Just like Nick. "Are you serious? Man, you love to pick the weirdest time of the day to surprise the heck out of people." "I guess we're on the same level." Kevin laughed. "So... I just proposed to Nick and I can tell you that things are not being rushed... Everything feels so right and that seems to be the most natural thing to do at that moment-" "At that moment?" At what moment? AJ scratched his head and the next second, his jaw dropped. "Ah... You and Nicky boy..." "Oh man..." Kevin groaned. "I swear we did nothing!" he added. "But it happened around there, yeah... Just kinda talked about it and the moment just came. When I say the moment, I meant the proposal. Not what your mind's suggesting. We didn't do anything, I swear." he insisted, feeling his cheeks becoming hot with embarrassment. AJ almost choked on laughter when the shy side of Kevin had revealed itself. He'd bet a bottom dollar that Kevin would laugh until his sides split if he was able to watch himself blushing to no end. Just imagine: big tough man, blushing. "Ha... yeah, I believe you, man. Just calm down and continue." he said, still letting out small sniggers. "It's all about during that moment." Kevin sighed. "What if Nick regrets it? I just feel like I'm dragging a fine, young and straight man into hell or something. Just thinking about how people are going to view him differently because of me... Did I do the right thing or am I really just trying to ruin his life? And our parents." he cringed a little at the mention of parents. "Oh lord, I didn't even seek Nick's parents' permission to do this..." AJ cocked his eyebrow and starred at the framed group photo on his desktop through the darkness. He wondered when the group's big brother changed and became so insecure about things. Sure, if anyone looked at Kevin, they would still have the same old idea: this was the leader who knew his priorities, and was a firm believer of his take on things. To AJ, it was as if Kevin had exchanged his personality with Nick. "Before I answer your question... You know you're not like yourself anymore, right?" Kevin lowered his head and pondered. "Yeah. I think." "Kev, you've been real fucked up. I don't want this to come out harsh. I mean, you know me... What happened to you? I know you've changed and you're more sensitive about things... But not this. Being insecure and not having the slightest idea as to whether you did something wrong or not. If you want the most accurate answer to those questions, you have to be yourself again. Only you know the answer and you have already told me." The older man bit down on his lip and sighed. "I knew what I wanted all along..." he murmured. "Just drifted away for a while." he added, his voice tainted with an easier tone. "Thanks for talking to me, AJ." "Anytime." AJ beamed. A second later, he changed his mind. "Erm, perhaps, you could try your hardest not to make it such a time." "I will." Kevin smiled. "Hey, I'm sorry again for calling you at this hour. I'll see you at D's place later, alright?" "Not even a wishing of happy birthday to me?" Kevin laughed heartily. "Save that for later!" "Aww... Alright. Night Kev and don't fall off the bed dreaming of Nicky!" "Goodnight to you and thanks for the concern." Kevin replied sarcastically and rolled his eyes when AJ laughed like a maniac before hanging up. Frick, Frack, and a Freak. How he lived through the three little imps was beyond his comprehension, but he loved them all the same. But more so for Frack. He returned to Nick's room and curled back up to Nick, who was sleeping deeply with the most adorable snoring he had ever heard. And he would never admit that to the snoring boy, whom he will be sticking with. Always. |
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