 |
|
[Prologue]
This can't be happening.
That was the sentence, which kept swimming in Kevin's head for nearly a year. That feeling shouldn't be around at all. He told himself that it was just a phase when he was going through after that break-up. Kristin had come back to him and that feeling should fade away. By now, it should be gone. It had to be gone. However, it did not. How could he still be facing Nick when he was having that feeling inside of him? How could he be so unfaithful to Kristin? "Because you can't deny the feelings, Richardson." he told himself. When he discovered that feeling in him in the first place, he was shocked and disgusted. He couldn't accept the way that he was thinking and the way Nick had that effect on him. It was ridiculous in his book. He wasn't homosexual. Or maybe he was wrong? Perhaps that feeling had already planted its seed way before Kevin knew Kristin. It started as a friend's feeling, which evolved into brother's love and now, a lover's spark? Kevin shook his head again. He glanced over at Nick, who was quietly reading a book. A real book, not a comic book. He had to chuckle at that. He never knew that Nick would take up his challenge of not reading a comic book for a whole month. Now, Nick had a newfound passion, all thanks to him. When the others came into the room, he tried to avert his attention back to his newspaper. However, it was hard. Every few seconds, he would casually lift his head and blink a quick glance at Nick. Boy, that was such a hard distraction. It wasn't so hard last week. His will was stronger. However, that one temptation grew to an overwhelming height. So sweet and so dangerous. ... One of the autograph sessions in New York, 1994, 21st of July "My hands are getting tired..." Nick whispered in a low voice to Kevin, who was sitting beside him. Kevin fidgeted a little. He pretended to look cool by trying to answer in a secret manner back to the younger man. "Quit whining, Nick. It'll be over soon." Obviously, Nick got mad. He wasn't whining about signing autographs. His hand was tired and he felt a funny feeling located at his right wrist. Well, it wasn't funny. In fact, it was burning with a slight pain. Because of his young age, he had learned to not let himself become a burden to his other friends whenever they went on small sessions or tours. Even when he felt pain, he kept it to himself. When Nick had just signed slightly over an hundred autographs, he began to feel his wrist throb. He felt like his wrist was going to drop off any moment. Scared of what he was feeling, he used his other hand and grabbed Kevin's arm. The color on his face drained off so fast that one would think he had just been taken away a gallon of blood. The bodyguards were aware that something was wrong and quickly formed a line in front of the fans to block them from moving towards the boys. Kevin didn't know what was happening. However, his initial feeling was fear. He was so startled by the behavior of Nick that he didn't dare to move. The younger man was just sitting there, clenching his arm while uttering, "Wrist, pain..." continuously. Kevin swallowed hard. He should have taken Nick's comment seriously when he complained about his hand being tired. Now, he could only blame himself. Brian was practically shaking the daylights out of him as the other two were desperately trying to comfort Nick. The manager immediately called in for the medical team to perform an examination on Nick's wrist. When they confirmed that there were crushed bones in his wrist, shock was written all over their faces. Especially on Kevin's. The sudden huge swelling in his wrist demanded no delay in sending him to hospital right away. However, the only problem was Nick would not let go of Kevin. "I want him to go with me. I need him," he said. Being Nick's best friend, Brian was a little hurt but he could really care less. Kevin was a father figure to Nick and obviously, he would feel better if he had Kevin around. On the other hand, Nick didn't know that one sentence would be dangling in Kevin's mind. In addition, changing Kevin's thoughts towards him: forever. ... "I need him." 'Wow. I still can't believe the power of that sentence.' Kevin thought as he recalled that incident. Nick received quite a lecture from Kevin when he confessed that he didn't inform them that by accident his wrist had been crushed by one of the props boxes. However, his wrist was acting perfectly normal and there weren't any signs of pain. Of course, not until much later. Fortunately, it was only a small part of his wrist that was affected. Nick was the most relieved upon hearing the result of the examination. The pain, which he had experienced at that time, was so unbearable that he thought his hand was a goner. Kevin, on the other hand, killed the relief away from Nick when he gave Nick a piece of his mind. He didn't mean to but he was too alarmed and really tensed up over the whole incident. However, Nick understood. It was all for his own good. After that incident, Nick did notice that things had begun to change between them. However, he shrugged it off, thinking that it must be Kevin's attitude. During one of their small tours, Kevin tried keeping his distance from Nick. Nick felt a little perplexed by Kevin's action and would usually sulk all the way through a journey. However, things got a little out of hand when he went to the extent of blowing his top off at Nick for no reason. He had to get himself to be angry at the younger man. He had to get himself out of that feeling. He had to. No. He must. However, he failed each and every time. At one of the concerts, as Kevin watched Nick flirt with a girl in the audience, jealousy ran through him like a lunatic. A slight touch from that girl on Nick, a little smirk from Nick to her and a final hug before he had to get back on stage. Jealous. Very jealous. Very, very jealous. And when they returned to their hotel after the concert, Kevin was fuming so badly that he smashed the mirror in the washroom. "It's all for nothing." he mumbled softly to himself. ... As bad as he wanted to shake that feeling away, it seemed like an impossible mission. He had completely lost his heart to this blond kid. Every time Nick was near him, the overwhelming feeling that stirred inside of him, burst into an unbelievable source of energy. He felt like he could do anything at that point. Even a gloomy day would turn into the brightest whenever he saw or thought of Nick. The things Nick did to him were almost to the point of surreal. It's no use running away from one's own feelings. He was in love with Nick. The person who was his bandmate and friend. However, he knew that this was a forbidden love. A love that he had to hide it well and let it go unnoticed. No more denying and no more running away. "I love Nick," he whispered softly to himself as he let his gaze linger longingly on the younger man. "Let this love live forever in my heart. Even if I can't have you..." |
|
|
|
|